Your Secret Weapon In The Battle Against Mom Guilt

Find Out Your Secret Weapon To Building The Life Of Your Dreams


It’s time to wrap up this 7-Day blog post series about letting go of mom guilt to get what you want out of life.

We’ve covered a lot of ground already this week and you should be very proud of yourself for sticking around!

I’ll bet you surprise yourself with how much progress you make going forward using the techniques you learn with this series. Before you know it, you’ll start reaching your big lofty goals one by one, without those guilty feelings holding you back.

On this last post in the series on mom guilt, I want to leave you with some tips and advice that will help you as you continue your journey.

Before we dive in, I want to share a quick story about my daughter and her unshakable confidence.

Right after she turned 3, she got really into superheroes.

One of her favorite cartoons features young children who transform into superheroes at night when they should be in bed in their PJ’s!

She is totally convinced that she is now “Super Alyssa,” who is super strong, super fast, and super brave. If something derails her plans or gets in her way, she is quick to say “let’s try again!”

Just like the characters in her favorite show, she knows that her first try may not result in success and she may need to call in reinforcements.

But part of being a superhero is not giving up until the job is done.

And she has totally unshakeable confidence that if she keeps trying, she will eventually succeed.


Did you know that you have a superpower, too?

You sure do – Confidence.

I like to think of it as a secret weapon that helps you keep doubt and guilt at bay. And it is the key to your success in any area of your life.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Confidence is your very own superpower and it’s completely up to you to develop and nourish it so you can reach your full potential.  ” quote=”Confidence is your very own superpower and it’s completely up to you to develop and nourish it so you can reach your full potential.  “]

Starting to make progress toward your big lofty goals by taking the baby steps that we discussed a few days ago can be a great confidence builder.

Don’t be afraid to go back to taking baby steps any time that you feel like you’re losing confidence in yourself or you start stressing out about how big your goals are!

One of the reasons why I recommend starting with baby steps first is to give you something known as a “quick win.”

Even reaching a small milestone can do wonders for your confidence and help you push that guilt further out of your life.

Setting larger milestone goals is another great way to break your goal down into manageable tasks and to boost your confidence.

For example, if your goal is to lose a large amount of weight, break it down into 10-pound increments and focus all of your energy on reaching that next 10-pound loss.

Think about what choices you can make in the upcoming week that will help you lose 10 pounds.

Think about your choices on a daily basis, and ask yourself if it is moving you closer to your goal or further away?

Celebrate your small successes – it’s a great confidence booster! 

Tracking your overall progress is another great way to feel like you’re moving in the right direction.

Sometimes it’s hard to see how far you’ve come in the day to day activities of life.

Chart your progress on a calendar, a large graph hanging on your fridge, in a document on your computer, or even in an app on your phone.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Remember to look at how far you’ve come whenever you feel like giving up.” quote=”Remember to look at how far you’ve come whenever you feel like giving up.”]

It’s nice to have a visual reminder that what you’re doing is working and giving you the results you want and need.

Last but not least, find a cheerleader to encourage you along the way.

This could be a close friend or family member, or it could be a group of like-minded people with similar goals.

One of the awesome things about the internet is that you can find people with the same or similar interests in lots of groups and forums.

A Facebook group is a great place to connect, compare tips, ideas, and results, and of course celebrate successes and serve as a source of encouragement.

The most important thing is that you keep developing your superpower and use that confidence to craft the life you’ve always wanted.

Good luck and keep up the great work!


Don't Get Derailed By Guilty Feelings

Watch Out – Those Guilty Feelings Will Try To Sneak Back Into Your Life!

The secret to reaching any goal is to keep consistently taking action and ensure you adjust your course as needed by taking baby steps and making progress toward your goals.

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?



Unfortunately, there’s always something that will throw a wrench into your plans, potentially halting your progress toward your goal.

Today I want to share a big one of those with you.

It’s something you should watch out for and be prepared for because I have let it sneak up on me before and I crashed and burned!

If you know it’s coming, it’s much easier to prevent it from stopping your progress.

I’m talking about guilt. 

Yup – before you know it, guilt will come creeping back into your life again and try to take hold unless you are ready for it!

We’ve looked at the guilty feelings that have been holding you back in earlier posts:

Focus On Forgiving Yourself and Move On From Mom Guilt

To End Your Mom Guilt, You Have To Dig Deep

Why You Need to Find The Guilt That’s Holding You Back

What Is Guilt and Why Does It Hold You Back?

Not only does guilt prevent you from starting to go after your dreams in the first place, it also keeps trying to sneak back into your life to stop your progress.

You’ll notice those little negative thoughts popping back in your head after the initial excitement of having made some progress dies down.

Maybe you start to overanalyze a sideways glance you received at the grocery store or you beat yourself up over having to work late (again).

That’s when you really have to be prepared so those feelings of guilt or self-doubt don’t derail you.

I’ve mentioned how helpful a journal can be when it comes to self-reflection, and it’s also a great tool to help you spot those guilty feelings when they pop back up.

If you can get yourself to journal regularly about your feelings and your progress, you will have something to look back on for reference. You have a record of what you’ve been doing and how you’ve been feeling. You can then flip through your daily entries and find those instances of guilt quickly.

As we discussed in earlier posts, it’s easier to get over the guilt and in this case, prevent it from taking hold, when you know what it is and that it’s coming.

[clickToTweet tweet=”When you know what it is you’re feeling guilty about, you can find arguments and proof against it and stop those negative thoughts. ” quote=”When you know what it is you’re feeling guilty about, you can find arguments and proof against it and stop those negative thoughts. “]

Reminding yourself of the positive impact the changes you’re making will have on your life and on your family will really help you stay the course.

For example, if you are trying to eat healthier, that piece of cake may be tempting you and you may feel guilty about not eating the treat that your daughter so lovingly prepared (sprinkles and all). Or you may feel guilty about letting perfectly good food go to waste. By reminding yourself that your health will be much better and that you’ll be able to run around the park with your kids, you can quickly overcome these feelings of guilt.

The same holds true if you’re feeling guilty for not going out to lunch with your friends at work, or not buying your kid the latest pair of designer sneakers because you’re being financially responsible.

Do you see how this works?

For me, it was a definite AHA moment.

Having something concrete like a journal to show you the progress you’ve made and the positive impact you’re already experiencing in your life is incredibly helpful.

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That positive impact can be a great confidence booster in reaching your goals and not letting yourself get derailed by guilty feelings, which will be important as you continue your journey in the battle against mom guilt.

In fact, it’s something we’ll take a closer look at in another blog post, so stay tuned!

What AHA moments have you had when it comes to guilt popping back up in your life?

You Must Take Baby Steps if You Want to Reach Your Big Goals

Today You Need To Take A Few Baby Steps Toward Your Big Goals

Really big goals can be really scary.

It doesn’t matter if it’s wanting to lose a significant amount of weight, pay off a large chunk of debt, or change careers.

When you think about tackling those big goals, you get intimidated.

Trust me, you aren’t the only one.

You put off working towards your goal because you either don’t have any idea where to start or because the task simply seems too daunting.

Today we’re going to tackle our goals head-on (in a not so scary way) and start making some progress to reach them.



The key to reaching your goal, no matter how big or lofty, is to start by breaking it down into bite-sized chunks and take baby steps until you build momentum.

You can reach any goal and make any change if you consistently take small steps towards it.

Without consistency, your goal will fall by the wayside and end up becoming yet another “guilt issue” for you to deal with down the road.

Don’t let it happen to you!

You’ve worked hard to get this far, so I want to encourage you to take a deep breath, sit back, and imagine what it will feel like when you reach your goal.

It’s going to be awesome, isn’t it?

The best part is that you don’t have to “have it all figured out” to get started.

  • You don’t need to know exactly what you’ll have to do at every step along the way.
  • You don’t need to come up with a plan to pay off your entire credit card debt before you can start finding ways to cut your current bills.
  • You don’t have to figure out how exactly you’ll lose all of those extra pounds before you start implementing healthier eating habits.
  • You don’t need to know how much it will take to buy your dream home before you open up a savings account.
  • You don’t need to know everything there is to know about opening and running your own bakery before you start practicing your skills.


Today is all about making a little bit of progress toward your goal to get yourself started.

This will get you over that initial hurdle and build momentum. It will also help you realize that you can figure out the rest along the way.

Ready to take those first few steps right now?

Start by looking at your big goal, the changes you want to make, or what you most want to get out of life.

You need to know what your end goal is, but you don’t need to worry about everything you need to do to get there. At least, not yet.

Just make sure you have an idea of the general direction you want to head in.

At this point, it’s fine to simply decide that you want to lose some weight and improve your health or pay off those credit cards and student loans to give yourself some financial breathing space.

Got your goal in mind yet?


Now come up with one or two little things you can do right now to help you move in the right direction.

It doesn’t matter how small those steps are.

Baby steps may seem insignificant when you look at the big picture and how far you need to go, but they will quickly add up.

Most importantly, baby steps will help you build momentum toward reaching your big goals.


Let’s look at a few examples of what those baby steps may look like:

If your goal is improving your health and losing weight, there are several easy changes you can make right away!

  • One of your baby steps may be to go for a 10-minute walk each day.
  • You could try replacing soda with sparkling or infused water.
  • Trying out some new healthy recipes and getting into the habit of eating a salad or steamed veggies would be another great baby step to take.

If your goal is to save money or pay off debt, find one or two places where you can save a few dollars and start applying them towards your financial goal.

  • Your first baby step could be to have $20 per month auto drafted into a savings account or toward the principal of your debt.
  • You could go through your bills and try cutting out some monthly extras like canceling magazine subscriptions or downgrading your cellphone and cable plans.
  • Another simple change would be skipping the coffee shop in the morning and packing your lunch instead of eating out.

If you want to change careers or start your own business, read up on what you need to do or find someone to talk to who’s in your desired job for some advice. There are plenty of free resources online, including blog posts!

In short, do something today, no matter how small, that will move you in the right direction.

Let me know in the comments what steps you plan to take!


Why You Should Focus On Forgiving Yourself and Move On From Mom Guilt

You Need To Forgive Yourself And Start Loving The Real You


It doesn’t matter what’s been holding you back from pursuing your big dreams or the little things you really want to do. Once you’ve started to figure out what you’ve been feeling guilty about, the next step is to work towards forgiving yourself and practicing self-acceptance.

This post on forgiving yourself is part four of a 7 Day Mom Guilt Challenge. You can find the posts here for Day One, Day Two, and Day Three if you need to get caught up!

This post may contain affiliate links which means I may receive a commission if you purchase items through those links. I only promote products that I personally use and love.

Here’s the thing that most people don’t realize:

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If you’re ready to start crafting and molding the life of your dreams, start by loving and forgiving yourself first.

We are all human beings.

We make mistakes, we mess up, and we don’t do what we set out to do.

When we learn to forgive ourselves and love enough to try again, we learn and get better.



That’s why this step of forgiveness and love is so important.

  • Start by examining what you feel guilty about.
  • Look at what you’ve done and what you haven’t done to get you closer to your personal goals.
  • Embrace the good stuff and feel proud of what you’ve already accomplished.
  • Acknowledge where you messed up and didn’t follow through.
  • Forgive yourself for it and accept it.

Maybe there’s an important lesson you’ve learned from your mistakes.

Maybe it was simply some much-needed practice to set you up for your future success.

[clickToTweet tweet=”At the end of the day, it’s up to you if you let your failures and missteps derail you and keep you from living the life of your dreams, or if you see them as the learning opportunities they are.” quote=”At the end of the day, it’s up to you if you let your failures and missteps derail you and keep you from living the life of your dreams, or if you see them as the learning opportunities they are.” theme=”style6″]

It’s all a matter of perspective.

I totally get that this is easier said than done! Mom guilt is a big burden on our hearts and we often linger on our shortcomings much longer than we should.

But if you can come from a place of love and forgiveness, it is much easier to see things in a positive light.

Think about how quickly your children are willing to forgive you – they love you unconditionally and always move quickly back to a place of love. We should do the same for ourselves.

  • Get in the habit of looking for the best and most positive in each situation.
  • Be kind to yourself and don’t condemn what you do or did.
  • Forgive yourself and keep working towards those positive, and potentially life-changing goals.

It helps to start small when you are learning to forgive yourself.

Find a little something you did today that you aren’t so proud of.

Forgive yourself (no, really) and see what you can learn from the experience.

Then build on that one positive and forgiving act and use the energy to do it again, and again, and again.

Most importantly, you start to build a positive habit that will help propel you forward.

As an added bonus, you’ll feel better about yourself, gain a ton of self-confidence, and end up with plenty of positive energy to tackle whatever life throws your way.

Isn’t that worth making the effort to forgive yourself and learn how to love the real you? (Your children already do!)


3 Tips For Moms Battling To Overcome Depression And Enjoy Life

In your daily life, you live through a lot of moments and situations which can affect your emotions either positively or negatively, especially when you are battling to overcome depression.

Among these are your lifestyle, the people you encounter, your personal achievements and objectives, the weather conditions, and your state of mind.

Luckily, most of these are within your control.

This means that you can always choose to view them in a way that works to your advantage.
The last thing you want to do is get swept up and let the emotion of the moment get the better part of you.

Depression is one emotion that needs to be handled with a lot of care as it does not only affect the state of your health but in serious cases, your life is actually at stake.

I am glad to share tips to help you along your journey, but please remember this is only based on my personal experience and not in any way medical advice. Please consult a medical professional if you feel you have signs of depression and have yet to seek treatment, or if you have questions regarding your diagnosis.

I have personally dealt with depression for many years, and it often creeps up on me just when I feel like I have gained my footing.  Most people will never truly be rid of it, but there is a lot we can do to keep it at bay in our lives.

Don’t have time to read the post now? You can Pin it for later! 

Disclosure: Some of the links in the post below are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers.

Let’s walk through some important tips to help as you overcome depression.

Work on your lifestyle: Available research indicates that one of the major causes of depression today is your way of life.

This includes your eating regime, exercises, the way you associate with people, and your home environment.

Health experts recommend that you eat a healthy diet and pair it with some regular workouts if you want to help manage your mood swings.

Some diets are known to cause a lot of anxiety to people with sensitivities.

This means that the earlier you know about your body’s reaction to certain foods, the higher your chances of avoiding their negative effects.

As another health-focused habit, workouts are known to keep your mind and your body engaged.

This reduces the chances of you ruminating on your personal issues and releases feel-good endorphins into your system to help combat your depression.

I know the last thing you may feel like doing is heading to the gym, but even a few minutes per day of yoga can have excellent benefits.

Get some rest: After a busy day or lots of activity, it is more likely that your mind or body will be exhausted which may negatively impact your ability to cope with depression if you fail to get some rest.

Most parents, especially moms, have a lot on their plate including taking care of their family, doing household chores, and maybe even a full-time job.

This can make it hard for parents to fit in time to rest and rejuvenate!

In the long run, overstimulation and endless activity can cause dizziness and fatigue as you are forcing your mind and body to handle more than it is supposed to.

Most physicians recommend that you at least sleep for six hours per night to give your mind enough time to get enough rest, but we all know that worries, midnight wakings, and life, in general, can greatly reduce how much we actually sleep.

Separate Work and Family Time: You need to prioritize everything you do to avoid letting life’s stressors interfere with your family time.

Often, people who work outside the home make the mistake of dragging their personal issues to their work which ends up causing even more problems in their lives.

But what about bringing work issues home? Make sure that you draw a clear line between time for work and for family to avoid causing problems at home.

If you work from home, this can be an even greater challenge than for someone who can just “leave it at the office.”

Make an effort to have fun with your family even when you don’t feel like it.

Try as much as possible to remain relaxed and present without worrying about tomorrow or how your day has been.

You might find that your mood lifts and your depression lightens just a bit from the time spent connecting with those most important to you.

You can Pin this post for later!


What other tips do you have for moms who are working to overcome depression?

Let me know in the comments below!

I would love it if you would like and share this post to help spread the word that

To End Your Mom Guilt, You Need to Dig Deep

Dig Deep To Find The Reason For Your Mom Guilt

This is day three of our seven-day mom guilt challenge and it is time for you to dig a little deeper to find the root causes of the mom guilt that’s been holding you back.

Check out the posts from Day One and Day Two if you need to get caught up!

After all, you can’t work on something and start making improvements until you know exactly what it is that you need to work on!

Digging deep and examining your feelings can get a little uncomfortable, but don’t let that deter you.

You need to keep pushing through to get to the bottom.

It will be well worth it and you’ll feel much better about your role as a mom once you’ve faced your fears and dealt with your feelings of mom guilt.


Start off your exploration into the root of your feelings of mom guilt by finding a quiet place where you can think for a while without being interrupted (too many times…).

If you prefer, you can work through your feelings in writing using a journal or notebook, as some people find this helps them focus and stay on track.

Otherwise, simply thinking through it can work just as well.

Maybe you can find some time to escape for a hot bath as you work through this exercise.

Or maybe I am just dreaming 🙂

If you find that you have a hard time pinpointing where your feelings of mom guilt are coming from, it can be helpful to talk it through with a trusted friend or your spouse.

Ideally, this would be someone who knows you very well and can guide you along the way.

Encourage them to ask you probing, open-ended questions until you get to the bottom of the matter.

Or if you are struggling to dig deeper on your own, check out the 5 Whys Framework that I use when approaching problems in my life – both at work and at home.

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Here is an example of how you could work through your mom guilt about going back to work:

Let’s say you have been thinking of doing a little freelance work as a writer while you’re home raising your young children, but a feeling of guilt stops you from taking the first steps to give it a try.

When you sit down and start to examine your feelings, you may think that you would be taking time away that you could spend with your children.

But as you think more about it to imagine how you could make it work, you might realize that you already have time blocks available while they are napping and that you will have even more time once they start school.

Digging even deeper, you realize that you’re actually worried about how getting back into a career could be perceived by those around you.

Your spouse may feel like you don’t have enough time for him, and the neighbors may think that you’re a bad wife and mother if you focus on your freelance career.

Not to mention your mother-in-law…

By recognizing these thoughts, you realize that what you need to work on is changing your mindset about what other people think of you.

You could start out by discussing your desire to take on some freelance assignments with your spouse to see what he really thinks. After all, in most households, both parents work and you would have the added benefit of a flexible schedule.

You start to feel a little better about the whole idea after your discussion, but there’s still a knot in your stomach that keeps you from moving forward.

There is one more feeling that’s holding you back, and it’s manifesting in your life by feeding you with excuses for not taking action… but in reality, it’s also guilt.

You realize that what you’re really worried about is that you won’t make it.

That you can’t hack it.

You’ve been home for a few years and haven’t done much writing, freelance or otherwise.

What if no one will give you a project to work on or publish your writing?

What if even trying is just a waste of time?


You have found the real issue and it is one you can work on right now.

Now it’s your turn. Have you been wanting to take time to exercise, but feeling guilty about it? Have you been wanting to hire some help to clean your house, but keep putting it off? Take a few minutes to evaluate what you haven’t been doing, and see if you can identify the real reason behind your hesitation.


Why You Need To Find The Guilt That's Holding You Back

Take Time For Self-Reflection And For Finding The Guilt That’s Holding You Back

In this 7 day series on mom guilt, we are taking a look at guilt and why it can hold you back from doing the things you want to do.

In the first post, we started out by looking at what guilt is and how it holds you back from living the life you really want to live.

In order to break through your mental roadblocks and start making some series progress, you have to let go of the guilt.

All of it: the mom guilt, the “supermom” syndrome, the endless parade of should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve.

You’ve got to let it go.

That’s what we’ll cover today.


First Things First …. Find The Guilt

The first step in this process that you’ll walk through over the coming days is to find the guilt.

If you don’t know exactly what you feel guilty about, you certainly can’t come up with a plan to work through your guilt to send it packing!

Of course, it’s easier said than done.

If getting rid of your guilt was easy, you probably wouldn’t go through a 7-Day process to let it go!

It’s important that you’re committed to discovering what it is that’s holding you back and all of the things you may be feeling guilty about.

You really have to be brutally honest with yourself.

It’s not going to be easy.

It is, however, going to be helpful, eye-opening, and very productive.



Take Time For Self-Reflection to Identify Guilty Feelings

Start by giving yourself some quiet time to think.

We live in a loud and busy world that’s full of distractions.

Toddler tantrums, television, or time for homework – it never ends.

It’s hard to hear yourself think sometimes, isn’t it?

It’s also easier to keep yourself busy and just keep plugging away than it is to stop and take some time to reflect.

But avoidance is a whole other series…

So – find a quiet place, get comfortable and let your mind wander.

Start to think about what you want to accomplish.

Take a look at what might be holding you back: 

  • What thoughts or tasks start to make you feel uncomfortable when you think about them?
  • What part of your journey gets your stomach in a tight knot?
  • What is causing doubt to creep in?
  • What might be making you feel like you aren’t “enough”?

Pay attention to any triggers and see if you can start to pinpoint your feelings of guilt and where they may be coming from.

A Journal Can Be A Helpful Tool To Explore Your Mom Guilt

A journal really is an excellent tool in this process.

Grab a piece of paper, open up your laptop, or get a brand new journal to start writing your thoughts down.

Putting thoughts on paper can be very clarifying – it forces you to focus more intently and helps to organize your thought processes.

Writing also gives you something to refer back to and read later in the day or further along in the challenge.

This reading of your thoughts and what’s going on in your head can help you discover underlying causes as you “read between the lines”.

Why not give it a try and see if you find journaling helpful in this process?

Make A Plan To Discover Guilt Going Forward

Last but not least, it’s important to realize that this will be an ongoing process.

New feelings of guilt will pop up from time to time, especially as you move into new ages and stages of life.

Be on the lookout for them to pop up so you can address them right away.

Again, journaling can be a great tool for this.

At the very least, be aware of your feelings and carefully evaluate your decisions going forward to see if they are simply being made out of guilt.

Make sure you find some time to evaluate your feelings regularly so you can minimize your mom guilt before it overwhelms you!


What Is Guilt And Why Does It Hold You Back?

What Is Guilt And Why Does It Hold You Back From Doing What You Want To Do?

This is the first installment in a 7 part series on Mom Guilt. 

First, let’s talk about guilt. It’s really not a great feeling, is it? For the most part, guilt is a feeling that you want to avoid.

By definition, guilt is feeling as though you deserve blame for something.

It moves us to action and gets us to do “the right thing”. Think about back in your school days when you would not do your homework – lying about it made you feel guilty.

The feeling of guilt ensured that you completed your homework the next time and kept doing it going forward.

Not exactly a bad thing for your academic career.

But sometimes guilt can be a bad thing that holds us back from achieving the things we want out of life. And as a mom, that guilt really adds up!

We feel guilty about spending time and money on growing a side business.

We take away precious time from our loved ones to get caught up at work.

We don’t get to tuck the kids in at night because we’re going back to school.

What else do you feel guilty about?


It’s easy to fall into the guilt trap even when we know what we’re doing is important and worthwhile.

In short, like so many other things in life, guilt can be a positive thing- something that motivates you and gets you to work towards your goals and things you want to get done.

It can also be the thing that’s holding you back, especially if you have too much of it.

That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to your feelings of guilt and ask yourself if they’re productive or if they’re holding you back.



Over the course of the next seven days, we’re going to dig deep and take a look at those guilty feelings, examine them, and then do something about it if they turn out to be feelings that are holding you back.

We are going to eliminate those feelings that keep you from loving yourself and doing what you really want to do.

Here’s the big problem with guilt:

Sometimes it stops you from doing what you want to do, as we discussed already.

At other times it’s causing you to hold back and not put forth your best effort.

If you are feeling bad about missing dinner with the family, you’re not going to be fully present and committed during that client meeting or the class you’re taking.

The guilt you’re feeling is keeping you from committing fully and giving it your all.

It’s also taking a lot of the joy out of whatever it is you are doing. This may not seem like a big deal at first glance, but it takes a lot of the positive energy and wind out of your sails.

It’s that energy that makes you push a little harder, try a little longer, and do all the little, seemingly insignificant things that make all the difference in the end. Without it, you don’t have the perseverance to see things through.

The feeling of guilt also gives you an easy excuse to give up.

Life isn’t easy and any goal worth reaching takes work and effort.

Sometimes it seems easier to give up than to keep pushing hard, solving problems, or resolving conflicts that we’d rather avoid. That guilty feeling may be just the excuse you were looking for to justify giving up.

By addressing these feelings of guilt and working through them, you will greatly improve your chances of reaching your goals and crafting the life you really want for yourself and your loved ones.

What are areas of your life currently being impacted by guilt?

What have you decided not to do in order to avoid feelings of guilt?